Brandon

 Today would have been Brandon's 38th birthday.  I have always been interested in art but after losing Brandon art became a way to escape my depression and feelings of loss.  Not long after he passed away I prayed and asked if God to help me paint, and He did.  

I have felt lonely off and on but have found nature is there and always seems to know what I need.  It seems whenever I am especially down I see a bird I don't normally see.

When Brandon was in a coma the social workers and nurses talked me into taking a break from the hospital so I drove from Emanuel to Wildwood in Welches.  I walked to the middle of the bridge and stopped where Brandon and I used to take pictures or selfies of us. I was watching the river below and a bald eagle flew overhead.  It was the only time I have ever seen an eagle at Wildwood.

When my Uncle Carl passed away a blue heron flew into the tree in my backyard. I have seen herons at the river 20 minutes from my house. The are my favorite birds.. And that day it was in my backyard! It has never happened again.

A few weeks ago I was feeling very alone and a squirrel decided to befriend me.  She literally ran up to me and followed me around for about an hour.  I have lived here in this house over 10 years and that had never happened before.

Today I was doing pretty good despite it being Brandon's birthday and him being gone until it was almost time to go home from work.  I stopped to get a cupcake on my way home because it was the only way I could think of to show that I was remembering him and he wasn't forgotten.  Then I got home opened the back door to let my dogs out and walked on the deck. I stood there a couple minutes and all the sudden a duck flew up.  She was in my yard!  I have never had a duck in my yard.

There are many other instances when I just really needed to know I wasn't alone and a bird would show up.  Just last week while I was feeling down (it's always harder around birthdays and holidays since Brandon passed away) I was on my lunch break and driving down airport way and there was 4 egrets in the water!  Every now and then I see one but have never seen four at one time.  In that same spot last year on a hard day I saw a pelican fly over.  I have never seen a pelican here in Portland ever only that one time.

I know these sightings are just one way God lets me know that He knows how I feel and He lets me see these birds as a sign I am not alone. God is good.

A picture of my squirrel friend after she took the nut from my hand.